


Children? Nah.

by IceBreeze



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Renison Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBreeze/pseuds/IceBreeze
Summary: Five times Allison and Renee deal with the dreaded question.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For Renison Week day 7: Free day. I went with crack because I can't resist. None of this should be taken seriously because it was written to amuse myself and potentially other people. I got some of the lines from a prompt blog but I can't remember which. If I do then I will link it.

The first time the question came up was when Allison introduced Renee to her parents. When asked why Allison did this (she made no secret of her dislike for them) her answer was quite simple:

“I want them to choke on their horror.”

And it was quite effective. The first thing Allison’s mother cried when she introduced her girlfriend was:

“But how will you have children?”

Now Renee would have explained that adoption was a thing but she didn’t even wait for a response before going off into a long rant about the reasons why this was a horrible idea and really, why couldn’t she just do as they told her and marry that guy with the awful hair and fancy car so she could give them grandchildren and carry on the empire, because IT IS YOUR DUTY TO HAVE CHILDREN ALLISON JAMAICA REYNOLDS, YOU UNDERSTAND? Renee felt rather dizzy by the time she’d finished talking, surprised someone could hold their breath that long, but Allison simply sighed and said:

“You can have them for me if it’s such a big deal.”

“HOW DARE YOU-”

And so the visit (that was fast approaching war) continued in a similar fashion, and Renee would have been concerned but Allison's hand was clasping hers and the smugness on her face told Renee that she was enjoying this far more than she probably should. And Renee was nothing if not a supportive girlfriend, so she laughed and kissed Allison with enough vigor for her mother to faint dead away.

_(That night Dan had to pick them up because they were too busy laughing to actually drive anywhere)._

* * *

The second time came from Nicky. He and Erick had been talking of adoption and he was hyped up on baby vibes and the ‘i’m gonna be a parent’ joy, so when the next fox reunion came (because those were a thing, by some magic no-one truly understands) he was talking about it to everyone who would listen. Or at least, anyone trapped in the same room as him that wouldn't try to kill him.

Once he was finally done talking about the little babies he was going to adopt he turned his questions onto everyone else. Andrew’s glare scared him away so he didn’t try asking that couple, Kevin was too engrossed in exy reruns with Neil, Dan was already six months in which meant there wasn’t much to ask there, leaving Renee and Allison as the only eligible couple left. Renee simply smiled, not saying anything, so when Nicky asked:

“When are you going to have kids?”

Allison’s reply was a quite affronted cry of:

“Centipedes? In _my_ vagina? Over my dead body.”

The reactions varied between confusion, disgust and amusement. Renee hid her smile under her hand as Allison winked at her.

_(Babies were deemed a taboo topic from that night on)._

* * *

 

The third time was at their wedding. Allison had gone to deal with some late guests, her battle smile in place, leaving Renee stuck with the guests. Which she may have found bearable if it wasn't for the fact that they were all nosier than Pinocchio and they really couldn't figure out when to stop talking. As such, she couldn't even manage to dredge up surprise when one of these guests cornered her and asked:

“So when are you two going to have children?”

Biting back a sigh, Renee had smiled politely and replied with as much patience she could muster:

“We’re not.”

Normally that would be it because the other person would realize that the conversation was done and dusted and they should move on, but this guest (whose name she cannot remember) could not understand such complicated social cues. She just kept pushing and pushing until even Renee’s patience was running thin, which is, frankly, quite the achievement because that stuff is of a saint. So when Allison appeared by her side and asked-

“Is there a problem?”

-Renee didn’t even try to not slump against her. (Nobody even batted an eyelid because it was their wedding, which was nice. She could get used to this). The guest- oblivious to the frustration she was causing- said:

“I was just asking as to why you weren’t having children.”

Allison raised an eyebrow at this before something flashed in her gaze. It was brief, too brief for the guest to catch, but with that glimpse Renee was reminded of a snake, coiling up to strike. Then it was gone and Allison feigned distress.

“It’s all my fault. You see that short blond guy eating an atrocious amount of cake and looking generally disinterested with the world?” She gestured at Andrew, who either ignored her or didn't see, “Yeah, he’s a witch, you see.”

“A witch?” Based on the growing horror in her tone, the guest believed it. Renee had to bite her lip to hold her laughter. Allison remained remarkably serious throughout, her acting not slipping in the slightest: **  
**

“You see, he gave me eternal youth and in return I promised him my firstborn child. I don’t want to make good on that deal, so Renee and I agreed not to have children. Ever.”

The guest was now staring at Andrew with undisguised horror and Renee was struggling to contain her laughter. With that they made their excuses and fled, cracking up the moment they were clear of earshot. By the end of the day half the guests believed the rumour and it soon spread through the world that members of the exy world were not human.

_(Press duty was actually enjoyable after that)._

* * *

 

The fourth time happened when both of them were extremely stressed by work and running off of caffeine, spite and protein shakes. So it was understandable that when they were stopped by an irritatingly perky ex-classmate from university who began to drill them on everything that came to mind and then asked them-

"When are you expecting your first child?"

-Allison simply snapped:

“Fight me Helen.”

And then she walked off, an apologetic-but-stiil-too-tired-to-deal-with-this-shit Renee by her side.

_(They never did get to fight, sadly)._

* * *

When the phone rang, Allison wanted to strangle whoever was on the other end of the line. That desire intensified when she picked it up to hear her fathers voice asking her that bloody question again:

"Allison, when should we expect to meet our grandchild?"

She sighed, cursed the world and told him with no little measure of irritation:

"You don't have grandchildren."

She hoped he'd shut up and hung up because then she could go back to sleep, but nope. Not happening apparently because he just kept going:

"Then when will you have children? Honestly, it's about time you changed your mind about that silly phase. Your duty remains unchanged even with this... _wife_ of yours."

She stood there her hand in her hair and wondered about all the ways she could reply to that. She could try to reason with him, explain to him why she didn't want children, or just tell him to go to hell. She could snarl that if she did have children that she wouldn't let him near them after how shitty their parenting was. But then she thought of how it was 3-fucking-am, Renee had probably been woken up and she really couldn't bring herself to care about what he thought. So she snapped:

"Not today, Satan. Not to-fucking-day."

And then she hung up. When she got back to bed Renee was waiting for her, eyes knowing. She didn't say anything, didn't do anything other than pull Allison into her arms and held her there. When Allison finally managed to fall asleep again, she felt safe and warm and knew that this was where she belonged.

_(And fuck anyone who wanted to change that)._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Can be found on my[ tumblr, polyhymina.](http://polyhymina.tumblr.com/writings)


End file.
